


This Is A Job For This Cowgirl

by shanelmagalidiallokin



Category: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Western, But Also New Relationship, F/F, Past Relationship(s), past lovers to enemies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-15 07:18:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13026012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shanelmagalidiallokin/pseuds/shanelmagalidiallokin
Summary: Rebecca Bunch just got back to Far West Covina, and guess what? Her old lover just happened to be back too! What a coincidence, really - it probably has nothing to do with a diamond.





	This Is A Job For This Cowgirl

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bpdrebeccabunch](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=bpdrebeccabunch).



> Yay! My first fanfiction!   
> Enjoy!

The saloon’s doors bursted open. A woman took a step inside, the sun outlining her silhouette. She tilted her cowboy hat.

“Rebecca, don’t do that. You’re gonna break them. Again.”

“Heather!” Rebecca said. She jumped onto the stool closest to the barmaid. “It’s so good to back here!”

“You know you’ve been gone for like, three days right?” Heather rolled her eyes while starting to make a gin and tonic, Rebecca’s favorite drink.

“Well, these three days were as long as a horse’s leg,” she answered. “What’s been happening in this two-horse town? Any scandal? Murder? Shooting? I know they’re very common because of the lack of regulations towards guns. But anyway, what’s the dirt?” she said, in her habitual frenesy. 

“No one says that,” Heather answered. She slided her friend’s drink towards her.

“Says what?” She caught her drink and .

“What’s the dirt. And that horse simile. Nobody ever said that.”

“What? Yes, they do! Everybody says that.”

Heather wanted to argue more, but she let it drop. “Well, for starters, Audra’s back.”

“What! Audra “The Snake” Levine?” Rebecca yelled. “Why didn’t you start with that?”

Heather rolled her eyes — again. “Rumours says she’s here to steal some diamond.”

“Do you mean THE diamond? The Rottweiler Diamond? The one that is rumoured to taste like mint mixed with fresh-pressed 35-years-old lemons and smell like carrots you’d forgotten three years in your underwear? The one that is said to be so big, it cannot be transported by one person and that is so sparkly it could blow your brains out?” Rebecca said — she was very intense about this. Nothing to do with Audra.This was not about Audra.

“Ok, first of all, I’m pretty sure you just invented half of those things,” Heather said.   
Rebecca mouthed some sort of “No I didn’t”. Heather continued anyway. “Second of all, yes. It’s supposed to be at V’s brothel, but be careful, Audra’s not --”  
“I’m gonna cuff that gal like a sassy snake!” Rebecca shouted while grabbing her hat and running out of the bar.  
“What? Are you at least gonna pay for your drink?” Heather yelled, but Rebecca was already gone. 

........................................................................

Rebecca was lucky Valencia lended her a chair so that she wouldn’t have to be standing up all night. Of course, she couldn’t sleep. She felt in her guts that tonight was the night: Audra was gonna steal the Diamond. No, she just had to wait. 

Rebecca looked around. Valencia’s brothel — which wasn’t actually a brothel, it was more of a safe house for homeless girls and women — was alone on her side of the street. You could see on the other side Paula’s bakery, Cookies, Darryl’s and White Josh’s store, W&W’s, and then the church of Father Brah — not that Rebecca went to church, but father Brah was a pretty chill dude, and he sometimes let her smoke some of his weed. At the far right, almost at the end of the street, was the Chan’s house, a cute little house with purple shutters. There was a couple more houses exactly similar, giving the village a sort of rustic and old-timey atmosphere. Rebecca sighed. Far West Covina was a good place to live.

“Well, well, well, no surprise seeing you here, Bunch,” said a mysterious shadow. In a flash, Rebecca was on her feet, gun in her hand, finger on the trigger, ready to shoot her greatest enemy. “Audra Levine,” she spat. 

Her worst enemy — her greatest enemy — was standing in the middle of the street. Audra was as beautiful as the last time Rebecca had seen her. With her evil-and-totally-not-hot snake-like eyes and her cute lips ready to shout a snarky remark and her hair that — Rebecca shook her head, trying not to think about those distracting images. 

“Not even a hi? Why so rude?” 

“You are a criminal, and this time…” Rebecca paused dramatically — way too long. “You’re going to jail!”

“You didn’t catch me the last twenty times. You won’t catch me now.” Levine mocked.

“Mayb—”

“But this isn’t why I came here anyway,” Audra said, once again interrupting Rebecca. “I see you. You’re not happy. Like I wasn’t happy with my husband.”

“And then you ran away and started stealing banks and it made you feel better?”

“Kind of. But see, now I’m free of him and his deceiving dick—”

“Been there, done that.”

“—but I’m also free of my mom and society’s expectations of femininity!”

“What, you’re a feminist now?” mocked Rebecca.

“Kind of. But there’s one thing missing in my life.”

And at this moment, Rebecca knew. She knew what Audra was gonna say and she knew how much it was gonna hurt her, so she tried her best to look grumpy and angry. But Audra also knew how she felt.

“I miss you. I miss those years of crazy love, or whatever is that, those years we had when we were young. Rebecca…” Audra touched the cowgirl’s face and looked right into her eyes.

“Run away with me,” Audra said. “We could be happy for once.”

Rebecca couldn’t say anything. She couldn’t breathe anymore. 

“I’ll let you choose,” the robber said. she gave her old love one last look before turning away and leaving.

…………….

“Heather, I don’t know what to do.”

“So you’re questioning whether or not to run away with a woman who literally pushed you through a window once?”

“When you put it like that…”

“Maybe you’re not really in love with her. Maybe you’re just in love with the idea a sexy trope. You want to be “enemies to lovers”. You want each other to fall in love and forget everything wrong that ever happened to both of you but that’s not gonna happen. You’re just gonna end up in a bad relationship. That’s a very common trope in fanfictions.”

“Fanfictions?”

“Stories about real of fictional people,” explained Heather. “V’s girls write them. And Darryl, but they’re always about himself and White Josh.”

“This seems very anachronistic. But no! This is not it! What we have is different, okay?”

As soon as she said that, one of V’s girls entered the saloon screaming. Everybody looked at her. 

“Someone just stole the Diamond!”

Rebecca gasped. “Audra!” she said, grabbing her hat and her gun. “I have to go. This is a job for this cowgirl.” 

“You know this sounds kind of sexual, right?” yelled Heather. 

Rebecca was already gone.

…………………………………………………...

Rebecca saw the train going away. She had to be quick. She told her horse to go faster. Audra in that train with a sparkly diamond, and Rebecca wouldn’t let her flee.

Audra was sitting on the last wagon, appreciating the danger of being on a train going so fast and risking falling every second because of a very intense wind. When she saw her ex-lover, Audra’s eyes widened. She wasn’t expecting this. Well, maybe she hoped Rebecca would follow her, but she never believed Rebecca could. 

As Rebecca got closer and close, she held out her hand and grabbed the ladder. She let her horse go, and slowly made her way to the top of the wagon.

“Audra! I thought we were going to run away together!” yelled Rebecca, surprising Audra. “Also you can’t just steal diamonds!”

Audra was shocked. She definitely didn’t expect Rebecca to still love her. She thought she hated her, which was understandable, after what Audra did.

“Rebecca, we can’t be together! You said it, I’m a criminal, and you arrest criminals!” Audra yelled.

“Heather said weird things about fanfiction and stuff but this is not it! what we have is not that! We are special. We were happy before. We could be happy again,” Rebecca said, as her smile slowly broke. She just had flashbacks of memories -- the best ones.

“I agree,” Audra whispered. Of course, Rebecca didn’t hear anything because of the wind, but she guessed it by Audra’s expression.

She got closer to Rebecca.

“You know I want this,” whispered Audra.

They were dangerously close now. Rebecca felt her left boot hovering over the edge of the wagon, and out of fear, she took a step forward. She now felt Audra’s breath on her face, along with all the wind.

Audra bringed her head closer to Rebecca’s. 

And as they kissed, Audra pushed Rebecca.

She fell. 

The ground didn’t hurt as much as the heartbreak.

When she got up, Rebecca couldn’t even speak. Tears started to roll down her cheeks. She truly believe it. Again. The only thing she could do was stare at Audra’s silhouette, still standing on the wagon, the sun behind her. It was dusk, the end of the day. Mentally, Rebecca made the parallel to their love story. It was the end of them. They were done. And then rebecca thought there was a tomorrow. It wasn’t the end of the world.

Yes, Rebecca thought, gaining back her smile. They would definitely see each other again.

If only she knew Audra thought about the exact same thing.


End file.
